Okay so the time comes when you’ll have to leave your parents nest and go make it out on your own, honestly the thought of the easier route keeps crippling in my head because job hunting has left me feeling drained and exhausted, finding a job Is not easy. I was so used to making quick money (hustling) and now I need to get myself i tune with a brand new system.
When life gets blurry hold on to your faith and trust in the Lord
Well this is life as I know it right now, I put out a lot of CVs, and imagine how stressful it is applying for a job, each job application has to be tailored to the job requirements, this takes up a lot of time and energy. In my head I thought id be employed by now but the reality isn’t that. I’m even now doubting myself and my potential. What on earth am I doing wrong, or am I just losing patience? Maybe it’s the mental illness starting to kick in, because anxiety has been a regular visitor of mine.
Some days I breakdown and cry not knowing what tomorrow holds, now this phase is starting to crush me, mentally and emotionally, this phase is really taking a toll on me and some days I’m feeling defeated, I then remembered a close relative of mine telling me that “the first months are usually the toughest”. Well I believe them now.
Even through the struggle show up with your head held high in red lipstick..
Maybe im suffuring from the drastic change of environment and way of living, I was so used to waking up and not worrying about anything and knowing I’m definitely going to make money if I leave the house and now I’m in a situation where I’m always worrying. well its a choice I made and I need to stick to it and watch my dreams come to life. Like I’m always saying “it’s never easy and the struggle is necessary”
Some days im battling depression, stress , anxiety, exhaustion and a whole lot and some days I have a lot of energy to defeat this world. I really wish I could say this phase is easy but honestly this is an extremely tough phase in my life, I’ve found myself second guessing myself because well life didn’t turn out according to plan.
At first i was being selective up until I started looking at all possible offers that can create sources of income.
Days like today I just want a miracle, how I wish. I’ll surely remember these days clearly when my things finally turn around and stabilize. For now I can say the struggle is real and I’m believing in time to make all well for me. Im trusting God has not forgotten me. I believe this phase has lessons its teaching me.
I will be keeping my readers updated on my journey to finding a better life for myself. I hope My posts inspire you.
Thank you you for taking your time to read
xoxo
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